Caution: Men Have Hidden Cameras!

October 27, 2006

Girls, in this modern age of technology, what happens in the strip club does not necessarily always stay in the strip club. More and more, videos are showing up on websites like youtube and google video that are footage taken from somebody’s cell phone or small digital camera that they snuck into the club. I picked the following video as an example of this for a couple of reasons. First of all, you can’t see the girl’s face, so her privacy is pretty safe despite the fact that they announce that her dancer name is Casey. Second, she’s a beautiful dancer, so she wouldn’t need to be embarrassed anyways.

I just want you all to be careful about spotting hidden cameras on men. Many clubs don’t even allow cell phones for this very reason. If somebody is holding a cell phone up as though he’s recording somebody on stage, report it to the bouncer as a courtesy to the girl who is on stage (and, for that matter, as a courtesy to all of us). Be especially careful in the VIP or private dance rooms, where men are a little closer to the action. It is not right for you or any other girl to be video taped without her permission. Be safe and watchful!

Thong Perfection

October 26, 2006

Wouldn’t it be great if your panties always flattered that sexy ass? I’ve seen a lot of g-strings on girls, and not all of them looked good. Over time I’ve come to realize what makes a thong flatter a body, and, for that matter, what makes a body flatter the thong.

Here are some tips to make your thong look its best.

First of all, you’ll need to make your bikini zone look its best. There are several ways to prevent or treat bikini bumps. These are all recommended by other strippers, but I haven’t tried all of them so I’m taking their word on a few of these.

Home remedies for bikini bumps:

  • Witch Hazel – Apply just after shaving. It sooths bikini bumps, and then conditions your skin so that you’re less likely to have bumps reoccur.
  • Silicon-based Lubricant – Got a little lube in your naughty things drawer? You can apply it in lieu of shaving cream. They almost never have perfumes and dyes (which can irritate sensitive bikini areas), and they don’t gunk up your razor.
  • Underarm deodorant – Apply after shaving to the afflicted region. It helps treat bikini bumps, and makes your nether-regions smell pretty. I was skeptical of this remedy, but it works. You never have underarm shaving bumps right? Plus, the perfumes in deodorant are made for sensitive areas.

Now that your bikini zone is perfect and bump-free, its time to put your g-string/thong on to show off those perfect cheeks of yours. The difference between good g-string wearing and bad g-string wearing is where the intersection of strings rests on your cheeks. You want the point where the crotch string of the panties connects to the waist string to be just at the very top of your butt “cleavage” and no higher! Ever seen a girl who’s g-string looks like it forms a ” T ” on her backside? Its because her g-string is too big. To get your g-string to rest in the right part, cut the g-string at the “intersection.” Then re-sew it so that the crotch string is shorter. By doing this, you’ll be making your g-string custom fit to your body, so that instead of laying in a ” T ,” it will form the top part of a heart with your cheeks. You’ll recognize the ideal g-string as the one that makes your butt look rounder.

Now that everything below the belt is perfect, what customer will want to pass up putting another dollar in that hot little thong?

Dancer Emergency Kit

October 24, 2006

girl with scissorsI’m tired of loaning everything out in the dressing room. Don’t get me wrong, I love the girls I work with, and they all know that they can count on me for anything that I can spare…but after the millionth time of loaning out my pasties last night, I figured out what my next blog post would be. Here is a list of things you should always have when you go to work at any club. Make a little emergency kit of the items on this list and always bring them with you. That way you’ll never be unprepared again!

  1. Aerosol deodorant – I know we all go through this pretty quickly, so its okay if you run out and have to borrow another girl’s, but wouldn’t it be nice if for once everybody had their own? (For those of you who don’t know the joys of aerosol deodorant yet, let me tell you that it’s an amazing way of getting every little part nice and fresh just after you get off stage.)
  2. Scissors – to cut tags off of panties, to fix stray threads when they’re loose, and (boys, cover your eyes) to cut tampon strings. You’ll think of a million other uses for these at work, and you’ll be so grateful you have them.
  3. Sewing kit – Even if you don’t know how to sew, you’ll at least be able to wing it if something happens. I once had a thong break during a lap dance (embarrassing!) and was able to scurry back to the dressing room to repair it.
  4. Extra thong/g-string – (see my disaster story from #3)
  5. Pasties (i.e. glittery fabric glue… if your club requires them of course) – I know the house usually has pasties, but sometimes even the house runs out. Plus, sometimes the house has pasties in some ridiculous color like green, which only works on certain skin tones. Bring your own just in case.
  6. Hair Dryer – Even if you don’t need it for your hair, a hair dryer can help in a lot of emergencies. What will you do if a custie spills his drink on you? (I mean besides guilt him into buying you a new outfit, of course.)  Plus, if you do wear pasties, drying them with a hair dryer instead of letting them airdry makes them all shiny and pretty.
  7. Hair Straightening Iron – Again, even if you don’t use a straightener for your hairstyle, its really useful for ironing small pieces of fabric or ribbons that have gotten all crunched up in your dance bag.
  8. Tampons – Everybody’s system flakes out once in a while… better safe than sorry.

If you happen to come up with any other emergency kit items that I’ve forgotten, feel free to post a comment, or email me at . Thanks!