Flaming Yoko the Fire Squirter

I know girls with very talented vaginas. Girls who can “squirt” often sell live performances of their talents at private bachelor parties. But nothing I have ever seen or heard of compares to the story I recently read by Masuo Kamiyama in Mainichi Daily News. He learned of Yoko in the story she wrote as one of four articles in a special section of Sincho 45 (February) entitled “Onna-tachi no sekkusu batoru” (Women’s sexual battles).

In the interview Yoko told Kamiyama, “From the time I was a little girl, I thought about doing something that would make people notice me, and enable me to tour the country,” says the woman, who is identified throughout only by her professional moniker “Honoo no Yoko” (Flaming Yoko).

It looks to me like she got her wish.

As the classic strip club techno began, Yoko would gracefully peel off her clothing and proceed to a series of eight routines. All involved use of the highly developed muscles in her reproductive apparatus. While not necessarily in the following order, she makes use of her vaginal sphincter to toot notes from a toy trumpet; click a toy clacker; twist the screw-off cap from a bottle of Oronamin C vitamin tonic; snap a wooden pencil in half; bend a metal spoon; inhale smoke from a cigarette and blow rings; and make like a blowgun, shooting darts to pop toy balloons. In fact, a dart once propelled this way was clocked at 180 mph, as fast as if somebody had thrown it by hand.

Then came the climax of her stage performance, the routine from she got the stage name “Flaming Yoko”: She would inject a quantity of alcohol into her vagina, part her thighs and spurt the liquid towards a waiting flame.

As a safety measure to spare those in the first row of seats from singed eyebrows and possible first-degree burns, Yoko requests that customers lean back away from the stage. “This is being done in complete defiance of fire regulations,” she warns them in a verbal disclaimer.

The great ball of fire at the climax of her performance was the source of considerable anticipation, and excited male fans often got into the act, counting down “5, 4, 3, 2, 1″ and then, in unison shouting “Fire!” (pun intended, I am sure) as she lets it fly, causing an impressively large fireball to burst forth in mid-air.

Yoko was raised in Kochi in Shikoku, where her father ran a brothel. He was married three times, fathering six children, total. Yoko was the youngest.

“My mother ran a small bar, and dad owned the brothel but didn’t do any work, except pimping for my mother sometimes,” she recalls to Kamiyama. “So I was born and raised in the red-light district, but since there were other kids in the same situation I didn’t think anything of it at the time. It was just the way things were.”

She was bright, Shincho 45 reports, and wanted to attend university, but times were hard and such was not to be. Her search for a high-paying job led her to burlesque. Standing an above-average 163cm tall, she was endowed with a figure resembling a Westerner and therefore appeared larger than life on stage.

Back in those days, Japan’s strip clubs often attracted customers with underground shows called “Hanadensha” (flower trolley) offering live male-female sex on stage and other exotic acts. It was at this time that Yoko became aware of her unusually powerful vaginal muscles.

Flaming Yoko is now 39. Her career has clearly taken a toll on her body and spirit. But there’s no welfare or retirement pension for those in this profession, and she continues to earn her livelihood touring rural snack joints and strip theaters, where her dwindling audiences still count down before she “fires.”